Health for Veterans

So you have aging parents? You are so lucky!

Why? It means they are still alive!

But caring for aging parents can be difficult. Yet there are a few things you can do to help you and them decide what is best for them.

And yes, that means your decision making about them must include them.

So how does one do this?

Have “the talk” with your parents while they are still active and healthy
Do a think/look/see at alternative living arrangements
Put all your decisions in writing
The talk

Remember when your parents had “the talk” with you about sex? This version of “the talk” is about aging – their aging and yours.

When you have this talk is up to you. A good time for this talk, just like for the sex talk, is long before you actually need to deal with the reality of it.

What is the substance this talk? A frank discussion of issues such as:

driving
housing
style of life
money
end of life decisions
These may not seem like “pleasant” topics for a family chat – but the earlier you have this chat the more involved your parents can be in the decisions.

Waiting until a decision is necessitated by events is not the best time to have this discussion – if, in fact, a discussion can be had at that moment.

Most of these issues revolve around loss of independence – a difficult option for most – but especially for older persons. Cars, housing arrangements, life style and money give one a sense of independence. As does making ones own decisions about changing or re-arranging these circumstances.

Be sure to let your parents tell you what they think and want or how any decisions about them should be made.

Look/See

You can all visit senior housing communities at any time and study all the options available; including living near or with you. There are so many newer housing communities that try to meet the many requirements for their aging populations.

Put everything in writing

Wills, living wills, estate matters, end of life decisions and housing/finance decisions should be put in writing. [They can also be changed.] The legalities may vary depending on where you live or where your parents now live so check with a local attorney.

Reducing your family discussions to a written document may help everyone when the emotional time comes to take action on any of the decisions.

Aging may be difficult to deal with – but growing old sure beats the alternative.

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Aging Parents by admin